I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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