First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
