hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
