You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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