i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
