Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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