I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
