I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
