so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
