I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
