Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
