I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
That accounts for only three of the penises
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
