He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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