im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
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