is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
