So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Green mimosas i think yes
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
be right there i have to get my cape
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
