Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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