Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
