I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
