I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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