Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Randomize