I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
