i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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