I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
