She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Plan B is the new Plan A
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
