I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
