some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize