yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
