in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
