I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
