sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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