break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
