brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Can i not drive my cunt home
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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