Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize