So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
