Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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