I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Randomize
