Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
