I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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