Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
