Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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