I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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