They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
