any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
