I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
