Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
