All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
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