I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
