He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
