Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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