Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
