Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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