Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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