I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
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