playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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