I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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