Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
It's shark week go big or go home
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
