he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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