3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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