sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
She bit a glass in half.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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