He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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