he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
