Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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