hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Randomize
