kristin has been a bad kristin
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
