I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
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