we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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