I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize