BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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