My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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