This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
