We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
