So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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